The Bottom Half of the Internet Speaks - Slow Play

During the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship Jordan Spieth was among several players given the European Tour's new monitoring penalty for slow play. The penalty essentially means if a player consistently takes too long for shots they can be given a monetary fine. Slow play is one of golf's eternal problems and always brings out some interesting points of views among the golfers on the internet. Some people were criticizing Spieth, some chief rules official John Paramor, and some were creating conspiracy theories. Most of these comments were having little attention paid to them so I have rearranged a selection of them into a found poem in an attempt to showcase some of the more unusual viewpoints.


In my opinion Jordan is one of the faster players on Tour.
Are you getting confused with Michael Jordan?
He should limit his practice swings to 2 or 3,
He is the Christie Kerr of the PGA Tour

Why do people care how long it takes the pros to play a round?
F the slow guy.
Slow players are not willing to admit it
Spieth needs to be banned for a year

It is insane how long they take to hit a shot.
Tour players like slow play.
I think a ball should have a timer,
If the clock expires before you hit it then the ball explodes

Money is no object to these guys,
It's like giving rich people parking tickets
3 hours 45 minutes equals regular green fees,
Every minute over that is an extra $2.50

Walk off the green with Jason Day and you need a new calendar.
The problem is the charts of the greens,
They can't even read putts themselves.
The only solution is the liberal use of tasers.

Rory had a military helicopter flying directly over his tee shot,
Should that have resulted in a penalty?
Yes.
 Unless it was firing artillery

Bloody ridiculous!
This is not rocket science!
Since only the last 9 holes on Sunday matter,
Time those.

I guess the Euros need to find a way to get Rory back to number one.
I'm sure they feel Rory is the true number one.
Take away OWGR points.
It's amazing some people don't realize McIlroy is the best player in the world

John Paramor likes to insert himself into a tournament
Paramor picked on the wrong player
This big fat oaf should retire and do what he does best,
Wear women's clothes

Best Round Of The New Year

During the winter months it is always difficult to play as much golf as in the summer. Shorter days and worse weather make it harder and often less appealing to play which often leads to higher scores when we do play. This year I have taken a very different view of the off-season to that which I have taken in the past. I am viewing it as the off-season for competing but the on-season for practicing. I have probably practiced as much or possibly even more during this winter than I did last summer. I am delighted to say that I am seeing results from this before I expected to.

This weekend saw the best weather, at least for golf, we have seen for a while. There was no rain and fairly light winds combined with warmer temperatures making a round of golf an even more enjoyable way to spend a few hours. I am delighted to say I was able to take advantage of the better conditions and shoot 1 under par. However what I am more excited about than the score is that I had 7 birdies which is as many as I have ever had in a round before. As you can tell by the score I made plenty of mistakes in the round but I did not let any of them distract me. Being able to play this well in January is very encouraging for me because I did not expect to see any real improvement in score until the competitive season starts in April.

What is almost as exciting for me is that for the first time ever I had eagle putts on all three of the par-5s. This does not excite me because it is something I can boast about in the clubhouse, but because it shows the time I have been spending in the gym is helping my golf. I know I have been getting stronger but this is the first time I have seen serious evidence for it on the golf course. I am also pleased that I have been able to increase my power without losing accuracy or consistency of strike. I am not interested in just hitting the ball further because that is not going to improve my scoring. I want to improve my accuracy at the same time so I am very encouraged that I was able to hit 12 out of 14 fairways. For the record I had tap-in birdies on all of the par-5s which helped my score immensely.

What I am really excited about is that this round came in January and I still have a few months before the season starts. I have never really had any periods of regression during my time playing golf so I am looking forward to seeing where I can get my game to before the competitive season starts.

Too Many Clubs?

I heard a story about Bubba Watson playing a round with just a hybrid club and managing to shoot level par. I decided to see how I would get on playing a round using just my 21 degree hybrid and my putter. A normal distance for me with this club is around 220 yards so I knew I could expect to be playing lots of half shots. I did not know what, if anything, I would learn from doing this but I thought it would be fun to try.

The first difficult shot I faced on the course was a 90 yard bunker shot on the first hole. I made an effort not to think about technique and instead focused on getting the ball out of the bunker which I am delighted to say I achieved. Despite this I made bogey on the first and misjudged a 40 pitch on the second hole resulting in another bogey. At this point I realized just how special Bubba's skills are.

The 180 yards I had into the third was one of the easier shots of the round but on the fourth I had one of the most difficult shots of the round. From the left hand rough I had 157 yards over a tree. Normally I would have hit an 8 iron and not thought about the tree but today was different! I somehow managed to hit a high slice over the tree to around 20 feet and make the putt for my first birdie!

Another interesting hole was the 130 yard seventh, made much more difficult by a bunker that goes around the front of the green. Fortunately I had some room to stop the ball due to the back pin position. I am not sure if it would have been possible to get close a front pin because of the bunker. I have never tried to hit a club 90 yards shorter than normal before but by relying on feel I managed to hit high slice onto the green.

In the end I actually managed to shoot 1 over par for the 9 holes I played and I was actually 1 under for the last 7 holes. In an exercise like this the score is irrelevant and what I can take from the experience is far more important.

The first thing I learnt is just how easy it is for me to hit fairways with a hybrid instead of a driver. I hit 6 out of 7 fairways so I now know I can trust my hybrid if it is a tight hole or I am not feeling the shot with the driver. Despite the lack of run in the winter I was still able to comfortably reach all the greens in regulation so I will definitely consider hitting the hybrid more off the tee now I can see the benefits.

Playing this round really trained my feel for different shots. Never before have I tried to shape shots this much or hit a shot so much higher than I would normally. Remarkably I was able to do all of this without thinking about technique. I just pictured the shot and let my body work out how to hit that shot. I think this is possible because I have been playing golf for so long and my body is so used to how to swing the club to create different shots. It would be easy to say hitting these crazy shots has no practical use but I think it will help my trust myself to hit the shot I want to without thinking. If I can trust myself to take 90 yards off a hybrid or hit it 15 yards higher then I can trust myself to hit a small draw with an 8 iron much more readily.

I had a lot of fun trying this and I would recommend for other golfers to try this. I have a feeling this is something that everyone can try and get different results from so please let me know how you get should you try this.

A Beginners Guide To The Gym

At the beginning of a new year gyms experience a peak in memberships from people determined to improve their lives in the coming year. Unfortunately for these people they generally lose interest within the first few months and return to their old lifestyles. In September of this year I made the most significant change to my lifestyle I have made for a while; I started going to the gym. After I injured my elbow in the summer I realised that if I increased the amount of golf I was playing without considering my fitness I would keep getting injured. Since then I have been going to the gym consistently 3 times per week and I would like to offer some advice on how to make going to the gym a habit and never miss a workout.

Find a good environment for you

One of the reasons I put off going to gym was because I was put off by the environment in some gyms. I found the whole setting very intimidating to enter as a beginner from the array of machines to people far more physically able than me. I therefore decided to find the smallest gym I could to ease into the process. I would advise taking a similar approach to this for anyone who is uncomfortable in the gym. If you only have larger gyms available to you then if possible try to go at quiet times of day until you get used to it. While I know I work better in a smaller environment some people find they are more motivated in a busier gym so if that is you look for that instead.

Find the right trainer for you

When people ask me who is a good golf teacher I tell them to go to a few different professionals and see who they work best with. I would advise people take the same approach when looking for a personal trainer. Just as with golf coaches some trainers are better than others but different people will perform better with different trainers. I was able to find someone I work well with immediately but if I had not I would have looked around. I knew I was looking for someone who would push me but at the same time not push me in a way that would deter me from returning to the gym and I was able to find the perfect trainer for me. I also knew I needed a lot of guidance and finding someone to give me this was important, but for other people this may not be the case. In golf I know my game quite well so I look for a coach that will take my lead and this will be the case for some people when finding a trainer.

Make it enjoyable

It is far easier to do something if you enjoy it. I have never forced myself to go to the gym and every time I go I am excited to see what I can do next. I really enjoy the process of learning new skills and developing myself so it is easy for me to enjoy going to the gym. But what if you are not looking forward to it? I suggest doing everything you can to make it a fun experience. This could mean treating your time at the gym as time when you get to listen to music, or rewarding yourself by going somewhere special on the way home. Again, experimentation is key to find what works for you.

Focus on how you feel

The biggest benefit I have gained from the gym is the increased energy I have. If you start visiting the gym just to get stronger or to look better you are missing out of how it makes you feel. I would urge anyone starting a fitness program to avoid looking at the scales and avoid looking at yourself in the mirror for the first few weeks. Image and weight are two reasons people go to the gym and by taking away any signs of progress in these areas you have no choice but to judge success by feeling. I am not just suggesting this because I am not interested in image, but because I really think it can help anyone appreciate the benefits of fitness more. There is nothing like waking up in a morning feel better than you did the day before.


While this advice is intended mostly for people who have never used a gym before I am sure that by following these steps anyone can increase their chances of being successful in the quest to improve their fitness. I can safely say that working on my fitness was one of the best things I did for my life last year and I hope that others enjoy the same feeling as me.

New Year's Resolutions? No Way!

I have never been a fan of New Year's resolutions; in fact I have never set one. The reason for this is the negative connotations that New Year's resolutions have for. All my life I have heard people setting them only to fail and that is not something I want to be a part of. Instead I prefer to have intentions for the coming year. While this may be just a change of phrase I feel it gives me and anyone else who wants to try this a far higher chance of succeeding.

Here are my golfing intentions for the next year, this is not supposed to be a complete list of everything I want to do in golf during the next year but it is the main points. In general I want my intentions be to do something rather than to avoid something because I know my mind will respond better to a positive instruction. I have not included reaching a handicap of zero on this list because that is my main goal. My intentions are different from goals; I have set intentions as things I want to do to help me achieve my goal.

• I intend to practice 5 times per week. This has to be at the top of the list because I know I cannot reach my goal this year without a lot of practice. At the moment I manage this some weeks but not others so the aim is really to bring consistency to the quantity of my practice.

• I intend to practice distance wedge shots at least twice per week. I define distance wedges as between 50 yards and around 135 yards which is a full swing distance for my pitching wedge. On almost every par 5 and on many par 4s I have shots of this length into the green so becoming proficient at these shots will give me more realistic birdie chances which in turn will lead to lower scores.

• I intend to play more competitions than in 2015. The open competitions I played during 2015 were the rounds during which I learnt the most about my game so I want to play more competitions in 2016. While I hope I can perform well and possibly get near winning some of these competitions that is not the main intention. My aim is simply to improve my game through playing more events so my focus will not be on results.

• I intend to become confident with every club in my bag. At times during 2015 I tried to avoid hitting certain clubs which is something I plan to change in 2016. I am sure almost all golfers can relate to this; how many people do you know that carry a club they never hit? I remember hitting my driver on certain holes this year purely because I was lacking confidence in my 3 wood and hybrids. Whether I need to do more than just practice with every club to become confident with all my clubs I will find out during the coming months and address if it is an issue.

I have tried to focus on the process here rather than the result. I intend to practice my distance wedges rather than become the best wedge player in the world for example. I do this because I know that focusing on the process helps me achieve the best results I can. I also make sure that I am not depriving myself of something because that is setting myself up for failure. If you want to give something up I would recommend intending to replace it with something instead of just removing it. This is another simple trick that can increase your chance of success.

Looking at my list of intentions might look the same as looking at a list of New Year's resolutions but it is subtly different. I think the key difference is by setting intentions you can get away completely from all the negative connotations resolutions have. Some statistics suggest only 8% of New Year's resolutions are successful; after reading something like that I feel like I have no chance.

Why not try skipping New Year's resolutions this year and instead set some intentions for the coming year? You may be surprised at the success you achieve!